They Asked For it, They Did.

There is a special place in hell for lawyers.  But the ones who get their gen-u-wine 7th layer ticket punched are those who litigate for the sheer fun of it.  Every once in a while you read about one of them, a lawyer who is a way too zealous or a judge who doesn't know how to leave it at the office.  Those folks need to take up golf or fencing or dog fighting.  Anything that doesn't involve a filing fee.

That said, for the first time ever, I sued someone on my own behalf.  Rant, the hell, On:

A few years ago we remodeled our kitchen- all new appliances, the works.  When the warranties lapsed, we bought extended warranties from a company called Warrantech.  Good thing, we thought, because the money you seem to save on "energy efficient" appliances gets siphoned directly back out of your checking account in the form of repairs.  But that's another rant.

Last summer, the dishwasher broke (again) and so we called Warrantech for service.  Warrantech sent a repairman from "Cris & Sons" out to make repairs.  On his first visit, the repairman diagnosed a faulty pump, and had to order a replacement.  He promised to schedule a return visit in a week or so.   Two weeks later, there was no reply, so we called Warrantech again.  Finally the repairman came back and changed the pump.  I wasn't there when he did the work, but my lovely wife was.  She watched, aghast, as the repairman wrenched and ripped the dishwasher from the cabinet.  Rather than unscrewing the mounting brackets, he basically tore the dishwasher out of the nearly-new cabinetry.  Maple, thanks for asking.

The pump was replaced, but the cabinets bore the scars of the crowbar.  What's more, the tile floor was scratched, and the dishwasher, its mounting brackets now torn free and gone, was simply sitting in its hole in the cabinet.  Every time you opened the door, it tipped forward like it was trying to escape its own little hell.  You want more?  Here's more:  the door now leaked into a sad little puddle on the floor, and made an awful noise when you opened it.

Of course we called Warrantech back, and of course Cris & Son returned (third visit) to fix the awful noise, but didn't fix the cabinet or tile damage or reinstall the dishwasher.  We again complained, and they returned again to look at the damage, but did nothing.  They promised to come back a fifth time, but stood us up.  Finally, I went out and bought $30 worth of new brackets and reinstalled the dishwasher myself.  Didn't want the kids getting squished and such.

A few words about Warrantech:  When you buy extended warranties, you are promised professional repairmen, no repair bills and an extension of the same factory warranty that came with your appliances from the factory.  Sounds worthwhile.  Here's the reality:  Warrantech's sole employee base is a bank of telephone people, perhaps ten, perhaps a thousand, whose job description is to talk and talk and talk until you go away.  That, and make you wait on hold.  No call I made to these people took less than 45 minutes.  A few took longer.  No call I made to these people got results, unless you count further damage to our kitchen.  So after the 5th call, after 45 minutes of blahblahblahblahblah, after being promised (in the past couple of calls) that all would be made right, because we were The Customer and all, the supervisor admitted that he really couldn't help me at all, that I should probably call back the next day and talk to a different supervisor.  Seriously: 45 minutes, then "would you just call back and talk to someone else?"  Are you effing kidding me?!?!

No matter.  After that call, after the red mist cleared, after the clouds parted, I had a moment of clarity:  Warrantech, and Cris & Sons, really, truly and desperately, more than anyone else I had ever met, needed to get sued.  Really and truly, hire a lawyer and pay the retainer, preserve the file for evidence and circle the wagons, Sued. 

For the first time ever in my private life, I was about to go all crazy-lawyer-ape-shit on somebody.  Its kinda like the nice quiet guy in the bar who just snaps and shanks some jerk with a broken bottle.  Only different. 

So anyway, we're in the midst of a limited jurisdiction lawsuit against two companies, one in Texas, one in California.  For some strange reason, both have let the complaint go into default (meaning that they never filed an answer, which is strange because one of them has an attorney who understands what's going on), and I'm about to convert the defaults into judgments against them both.  We just might get our pound of flesh after all.  If I do, I'll scan the check and post it on every freeeeking website I can find.  I may even dance. 

Details to follow. . .

Comments

[CeeJay]

Can't wait to hear what happens, keep us updated.

[Darling wife]

You go girl!

[laurie]

Perhaps the only thing worse than a frivolous lawsuit is an insurance corporation who happily takes your money but when you need their service refuses to deliver. You get them !!!!

[mrs. hass]

No...dishwasher? Oh, you get 'em. Do it for the little guy...
Do it for all of us.

Can you also sue "Cris & Sons" for failing to use a consonant ("H" specifically) when its necessity is patently clear?